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6. Understanding the Self: The Spiritual Core of IFS Theory

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6. Understanding the Self: The Spiritual Core of IFS Theory

This article explores the concept of Self in Internal Family Systems theory, examining what the Self is, how it was discovered, and why it represents a paradigm shift in understanding human psychology and transformation.

The Other Essential Element: We All Have a Self

At this point in exploring IFS theory, we've examined in depth one fundamental element: we all have different parts—healthy parts, extreme parts, exiles, and protectors. Now we turn to the other critically important element of Internal Family Systems theory: we all have a Self.

We don't just have different parts. We also all have a Self—a spiritual core we can access during therapy sessions, coaching, or everyday life.

This is a substantial statement. For many people new to Internal Family Systems, this concept represents one of the more difficult elements of IFS theory to understand. We're so accustomed to thinking of our personality as having developed in certain ways, as being composed of our parts and patterns. But then there's this Self—something completely different from parts.

How the Self Was Discovered

To understand the Self, it helps to explore how it entered this methodology and theory. The story begins with Richard Schwartz's early work.

The Discovery Through Parts Work

Richard Schwartz discovered parts by working with patients and clients—many with eating disorders, self-harming behavior, and similar struggles. These people naturally talked about their inner worlds as parts. There were different parts doing different things, parts that liked or didn't like each other.

Intrigued by this phenomenon, Schwartz wanted to get to know the different parts. When multiple parts were present and one part spoke over another, he employed a very simple family therapy technique: asking one part to step aside.

This technique is commonly used in family therapy when one family member speaks over all the others—they're asked to stand at the back of the room or even leave so other family members can speak. Schwartz did something very similar with parts.

The Surprising Result

When parts were blended and he wanted to get to know one of them, he would ask the part that was really loud or intense if it could step aside. To his surprise, many parts were willing to step aside.

When they stepped aside, suddenly the inner world changed. Where before there might have been talk like "Oh God, I have to do this, I need to hurt myself because it's the only way I can feel better," suddenly when that part stepped aside there would be: "Oh, I hate it when I do that. I really don't like it and I want to stop this behavior."

One part had stepped aside, and another part was still blended. But as Schwartz kept asking different parts to step aside, he discovered something remarkable: suddenly his clients and patients would reach a state where they talked very differently.

The Emergence of Something New

Rather than being enraged and caught in extreme behaviors, they would suddenly say things like: "Oh yeah, I can understand that. I have compassion with that. I actually want to understand more about that, I want to learn more about that."

Richard Schwartz, having discovered that we have different parts, asked: "Okay, so which part is that?"

The people would say: "This is not a part. This is me."

This is a strange statement to make, but as it happened more and more often, Schwartz discovered what he described as people being "kind of the same person underneath."

The Same Person Underneath

One way to understand this: underneath all the parts, as soon as they step aside, there is something like a healthy adult—there is the Self.

When no parts had taken over the Self, suddenly the patients had much more mature perspectives. They could see, rather than extreme binary options, multiple perspectives: "Oh, there's this perspective, there's that perspective. I can get why this part is worried. I can get where this part doesn't want that." All of those perspectives were okay, and suddenly there were compassionate attitudes toward the parts, compassionate ways of interacting with them or with other people.

All of that came up—was just there in them—when the parts stepped aside. This happened:

  • Without good parenting
  • Without needing an intact attachment foundation (many of these patients didn't have one)
  • Without having done lots of healing
  • From one moment to the next

It was just there.

The Foundation of IFS: We All Have Self

The understanding that Richard Schwartz came to—and that now underpins all of IFS—is this: there is a Self. We all have it. It's right underneath the surface. And when the parts step aside, we can have access to this Self with really helpful qualities for therapy, for coaching, but also for life.

Self as the Seat of Consciousness

One way to understand Self is as the seat of consciousness. This is a somewhat difficult term, so let's explore it.

We are conscious beings. Usually when we are conscious, we look at things and we are conscious of things. We're thinking about things, trying to understand things. But where is that consciousness coming from? That question points to what we mean by the seat of consciousness.

The IFS hypothesis is that consciousness comes from the Self. When parts blend, we see the world through them. But when they've unblended, we can see the world more through that consciousness—that Self.

This Self seems to have qualities that are very consistent among all sorts of different people, and these qualities seem to be very helpful for dealing with challenges, dealing with stress, dealing with complex situations.

Self is that seat of consciousness. Parts can take it over, but at the base of it is the Self.

Understanding Blending and Activation Through the Lens of Self

If we look through the lens that Self is the seat of consciousness, we can understand blending and activation from a deeper perspective:

Blending

Blending occurs when a part takes over the seat of consciousness—meaning the part takes over the Self. In that moment, there is little Self available. We start thinking like the part, seeing like the part, feeling like the part. This is blending.

Activation

Activation, on the other hand, occurs when a part is active but doesn't take over the seat of consciousness—or at least doesn't take it over completely.

Activation represents a situation where a part is present but there's also Self present. That's a completely different thing. If there is Self present (whatever that means, and we'll explore this more), we have wiggle room. We have possibilities to interact with the world from that Self, that seat of consciousness—possibilities we don't have if parts are blended or, in the case of exiles, flooding the system.

Who Occupies the Seat of Consciousness?

In short: whoever is occupying the seat of consciousness in the moment—whether that's a part, another part, or Self (which is the natural inhabitant of the seat of consciousness when parts relax)—determines who you think, feel, and act as.

This determines your identity in that moment: who you are in the world and how you perceive the world, feel toward the world, and so on.

Building on this understanding, IFS uses two concepts that are slightly different but very closely related: Self and Self-energy.

Self: The Entity

Self, in the IFS understanding, is the seat of consciousness. One way to look at it is as the entity—the being that has specific qualities of presence.

If we are connected to that Self, the seat of consciousness in us, we will have natural qualities of presence from which we can act, think, and do in a way that is not possible when parts have blended so much that we are not connected to Self.

So Self is the entity, the seat of consciousness itself.

Self-Energy: The Qualities

Self-energy (often visualized as flower petals radiating outward) refers to the attitudes and feelings that Self naturally displays toward parts and humans.

If we are connected to Self, we will naturally have certain ways of relating, feeling toward, feeling about, and attitudes toward humans and parts. Those attitudes are called Self-energy. They are the energy that Self naturally displays or exudes toward humans, toward parts, and so on.

To summarize:

  • Self is the entity, the seat of consciousness itself
  • Self-energy consists of the attitudes and feelings that naturally emanate from Self

A Paradigm Shift in Understanding Change

What makes this perspective of "we all have a Self, we all have this spiritual core right underneath the surface" most profound is that this represents a spiritual paradigm shift. This can fundamentally change the way we look at therapy, coaching, personal growth—all of these things.

The Traditional Question

Without Self, the question would only be: "How do we heal parts? How do we learn skills? How do we find strategies to deal with situations?" All of those are wonderful questions and important pursuits.

The New Question

But if there is a Self, and if as soon as that Self is freed a little bit there is a power of presence that is fundamentally different from parts, suddenly there is a completely different question in the room—a completely different way of looking at change and transformation.

The new question becomes: "How do we connect to that Self?"

Not just "How do we help the parts?" or "How do we develop strategies?"—all of those remain absolutely important. But if all of those positive qualities accompany Self and Self-energy, then "How do we connect to that Self?" becomes a completely new question that is only available if there is such a thing as a Self.

It's a question that's very fundamental and central to IFS as an approach.

Self as the Natural Leader

Beyond this paradigm shift—that from this place of Self or Self-energy we can change, help parts, and deal with situations differently—IFS goes one step further:

Self is the natural and capable leader of our inner system.

This means:

  • Self is meant to lead the system
  • We are meant to lead within our own psyche, our own system, from Self—this spiritual place, this spiritual core of us
  • When we are connected to it, when this is freed enough, we naturally have the capacities to do it
  • Parts actually react very positively to the Self

This represents an even deeper perspective: the Self isn't just a helpful resource; it's the natural leader that parts recognize and respond to when given the opportunity.

Conclusion: The Transformative Power of Self

The discovery of Self transformed IFS from a parts-based model into something more profound. Rather than simply learning to manage different parts or develop coping strategies, IFS offers access to an inherent spiritual core that exists in all of us—one that naturally possesses the qualities needed for healing and leadership.

This Self is always present, just beneath the surface. When parts relax and step aside, even momentarily, it emerges with compassion, clarity, and mature perspective. It appears regardless of our history, our attachment patterns, or our previous healing work—it's simply there, an inherent aspect of who we are.

Understanding Self doesn't diminish the importance of working with parts. Rather, it opens a new dimension: the question shifts from solely "How do we fix the parts?" to "How do we access the Self that can naturally lead and heal the system?"

This paradigm shift—recognizing that we all possess this spiritual core with its natural healing capacities—fundamentally changes what's possible in therapy, coaching, and personal transformation. It suggests that healing isn't just about acquiring new skills or resolving old wounds, but about reconnecting with something we've always had: our true Self.

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